by Fatima Arshad

THEY’LL KARMA ‘EM ALL!

6 years ago | Posted in: Articles | 1785 Views

How many times does it need to be clear – you can’t play cricket with the constant pain-in-the-neck of a bowler throwing the ball at you! Does anyone have any idea how hard it is to walk out of the dug-out only to be sent back a few deliveries later? So, karma being the angel she is, intervened and taught those pain-in-the-necks a lesson.

Ever heard of that man they call the magician, what’s his name, Bubbly Ajmal? Well, he has been a major reason behind all my worries! Heck, he dare threaten the future of my lads?!  Time to teach him a lesson. Bubbly Ajmal, your bubbly arm angle shall be made the death of your career.

Karma, ban him!

There’s this other guy, the one who jumped right off Jack’s giant beanstalk. Ah, Mindless Irfan, how we love you (not) for the world may never be able to see another of your kind (the beans finished and the heck-of-a-huge plant chopped). For throwing yourself all over our dear pitch and for not being one of our kind, this must be…

Karma, ban him!

It hasn’t been long since the arrival of the old, Grandpa Babar, but the senior citizen is already trying to root himself. For a man his age it is pitiful that only now is he getting a chance to root himself. You are a disappointment Grandpa Babar and so you shall be no more.

Karma, ban him!

Smoking Tanvir, one of my personal favourites, he really his. I and my fellows shall be forever thankful for his constant generosity in helping us fill our appetite. But the lad can hit a six, I repeat, nah, I don’t want to. So for that crime, I beg of you…

Karma, ban him!

This one really, in all actuality, must go. He is guilty of awakening me several times from my beauty sleep! How, you ask me? Well, let’s imagine you’ve set all your feathers and drifted off into sleep, you’ve hit a six and scored your maiden hundred, you’re lifting your bat and smiling at dear Mama. But wait, what’s happening to dear Mama’s face? It’s twisting and turning, poor Mama now looks like Animal Ali after he has caught his prey. Okay, stay calm… Aw heck no – RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Karma, ban him!

Gul, Gul, wherefore art thou, Unreal Gul? Oh wait, you’ve been deprived of a functioning knee, so sorry for asking – my bad. No don’t worry, I don’t want to make your pain any worse, not for having the longest hair once upon a time, nor for blowing up stumps, neither for speaking “Inglish”. But I’m afraid I was fed off the word ‘equality’, so this must be, join your brothers in rank.

Karma, ban him!

It looks like someone’s already lost themselves, eh Missing Hafeez? What’s that? You’re looking for your degree? The one tied with a blue ribbon? If memory doesn’t fail me, I think I saw Srinivasan wrapping some samosas in it. You should probably keep looking and while you’re at it…

Karma, ban him!

Why is a Pathan always a headache? And to top it off, they don’t even provide you with a Panadol. Hmph! But this one blocks off all my internet signals in the stadium, with his victorious double-V posture! Yup, this is Ageless Afridi alright. I mean like, Sir, would you mind scooting to the left a bit? For not letting me post my selfie by blocking off and attracting my internet signals…

Karma, ban him!

“Avada Kedavra!” “Expelliarmus!” That stuff scares me, and I think we might have one of that kind roaming free in our Muggle world! It’s that kid with the “Harray Potta” scar, that… Chosen One. They call him Ravaging Hassan. He is a threat I tell you! He is destined to destroy the Tri – Lord rule.

Karma, ban him!

Phew! That’s it, that’s all of ‘em. Bubbly Ajmal, Mindless Irfan, Grandpa Babar, Smoking Tanvir, Animal Ali, Unreal Gul, Missing Hafeez, Ageless Afridi and Ravaging Hassan. It’s all yours karma – the whole lot!

Now finally after two decades, I can rest my poor soul.

Oh wait, my arm itches.

Hold on karma! Stop the train!

I forgot one last one.

This one is in serious need to keep his head on earth and leave the learning to the nets, Attitude Shehzad is all yours. Help yourself, my friend.

Ah, what’s your name Wiggy Raja, pass me that plate. The one that’s all green with a round red shape in the middle.

Now, now, where do I begin?

 

 

By:  Fatima Arshad

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