“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”(Epicurus)
Human beings are fundamentally and pervasively motivated by a need to belong, that is, by a strong desire to form and maintain enduring interpersonal attachments. Human nature needs intimate relationships, care, love and affection. In order to fulfill this need they develop relations with others on the basis of their likes, dislikes, common emotions etc. These relations takes a long effort to being formed sincerely and then need more effort to nourish them properly with moral and emotional values of affection, kindness, strong bondage, deep care and sincerity for others, reluctantly forming very strong relationships which are marked by emotional depth. It is just like a spider who weaves its web perfectly and delicately starting with a single thread and then checks continuously whether it is of the right size or radius but this web is so delicate that is can deteriorate with a single hard touch. The example of human relations with others is similar to a spider web which takes a very long and tiring struggle to form but are as delicate as this web that can be broken with a single harsh word, backbiting, cheating or by hurting others feelings. As the result of this they fall victim to sadness and depress.
In this era of technology, mostly bondages break because of a key factor that is the lack of communication. Although we are surrounded with smart devices and numerous apps yet there is a huge gap of communication which leaves emptiness not only in our selves but also in our souls. Due to this communication gap people avoid to look at the simple basic problems in a relationship which ultimately turn out into bigger problem. Relationship takes time and effort to work. Most of the relations just need patience and honest communication during hard and adverse times. We just need to stay positive and let our souls to breath full, to nourish it with positive thoughts and let others feel that shine of positivity in us. If we remain in the sea of negativity about everyone and everything than nothing will return to us except echoes of people who will be too afraid to communicate with us.
We take many relationships for granted. It is easy to get used to them being present all the time, having them watching our backs and extending their hands whenever we need help. It is too convenient to have them around that their importance get lost in unconsciousness that stores, sometimes, too many important aspects of life. But relations and people who make them and make even greater part of our lives must never be taken for granted. They are gifts, gifts to be cherished and nourished. It is necessary for things to be alive that they must be taken care of with love and care. No one is unimportant enough to be denied the simple pleasure of a ‘thank you’, no one too unnecessary to be left out of life-long relation just because of unsaid ‘sorry’. Differences can be accepted, hatred forgiven, jealousies quietened, friendships mended. every friend, every relative deserves a second chance. If Allah sends someone in our life, it must have a meaning. Don’t, ever let that meaning go undiscovered just because of a bump in the road even if it is the size of mountain for you don’t know when might you need a shoulder to cry on but more importantly, to make a world a better place to live for yourself as well as for others. There is enough pain and suffering in this world without our adding to it. Consider every act of kindness as a down-payment and when Allah is the one Who is going to judge us, there can be no possibility of unjustness. And the reward will be great indeed, beyond our wildest dreams.
By: Amna Naeem