“It is better to control yourself Than to win a thousand battles Then the victory is yours”
Anger is a negative emotion ,found in all controlled by few.It arises out of dislikes ,Hatreds ,a feeling of being rebuked ,a feeling of being inferior-It is also aroused when you make haste in getting things done –
It can be a superior feeling of being better and knowing better than others –
Anger arouses out of sheer ignorance of your feelings and wants –A want of change or a wish to succeed .A success not met –People not to your liking –Having not alike minds –and most of all it arises because you want to have your way in everything you do thinking others are totally at fault –The question arises how to control this demon in you
which is a destructive element deep with in you growing rapidly if you do not axe it and cut it down –Controlling Anger is one of the most difficult tasks in the world but not quite impossible –This disturbing negative emotion which burdens your heart and mind has to be controlled to keep your self fit and to keep others in comfort and Peace .
Lets think of ways of controlling it before it gets too late .
1. Think Anger can be controlled if you have the will to do so .Analyse your self to grade yourself .Do a bit of home work on your self .Think each day to how many times in a day you lost your temper or you had inner aggression . Think again were you justified. Think when you are cool and while you are angry . tHink how hurting it is to the other person you would certainly not like the same situation or an attitude for your self –Think how disturbed you have been after the anger episode . Think about the discomfort to peoples mind your anger has created –Analyse yourself daily and try to diminish your anger gradually grade your self till you give yourself a star for your performance –soon you will see you are free free from the chains of anger .
2. Anger is a mis management of emotions -You have to manage ,you have to control, you have to make more use of your positive emotions, Try using the tools of love -kindness –help –soft words –loving gestures –good greetings –a hug – a smile -Begin with the family —
Be an umbrella and you will find the shades for yourself .-Remember anger is an acid a strong acid which does not burns only the person you pour it on but more strong for the person as a vessel who pours it from -Anger is a fuel fiery fuel ,a destructive burning –The more angry you get the more acids are produced in the stomach linings to damage the linnings and to weaken your mind and heart -Anger effects your thinking , powers to decide .and your ability of working –
It ia a destructive agent hindering all successes –We have to combat it –
3. Controlling Anger is an Art keep the paint brushes in your hands
keep the remote control in your hands to control your moods .Paint with soft hues and shades , try to be soft spoken when you talk ,begin with a appreciation and loving words to everyone in family ,in friends ,at work no matter what position greet every one with a smile ,ask them how they are –tell them they look lovely -ask every one if they need your help in anything –Ask people if they a problem -listen to them -soomn you will find your inner in so contented that you forget to be angry any more -Anger in you leaves you as disgusted and over poweredby these positive emotions.
4 . Anger can be controlled by water yes a large intake of water 8 to 10 glasses daily -take water while angry –Take a shower if possible -Drink two glasses before bedtime –Two glasses early morning -Water is the best way to control your emotions –it is a blessing of GOD for us .
5. Anger is an emotion arising out of doubts -clear all doubts about yourself about others -Doubts suspicions mistrust –communicate with the person , ventilate in low tones –have a talk say it out talk it out ,disscuss how you feel ,relate express and in a very short time you feel the change in you and the other person -your angry feelings your cold wars your sullen moods all seem to go away like magic –we just have to give it a try –
6. The Angry person is a lonely person youare not adjusted to yourself niether to others -adjustment to self is essential-love your self –Arrange your wardrobe -Dress well eat well Groom well -this is the first step in overcoming anger -Think of how worthwhile you are –
Think of ways of helping people think ways of making people happy be so engrossed in loving yourself and others that you do not have any time for anger on self or others -Love yourself to an extent that it pours out of you unto others .
7. Anger can be controlled if you have the will to understand yourself
in quiet moments think about yourself ,think about people as each individual –think about situations that cannot be changed -thinkabout your abilities to control -because an angry man is an unhappy man –
We have come to live in this world to be happy and lively –Life is a live program remember there are no rehearsals ,we have to play our part and say our lines as the best we can to live happily the life and time given to us .
About Writer :
MSC child development and family relations
An Ex-Prof principal in a girls college
Psychologist in Karawane Hayat Mental Hospital and cancer hospital in Karachi
President Citizen Drug watch society
Activity Director PARC
Counselor and on line counselor on Face book
A writer quotes articles poetry
26 yrs experience in counseling problems of people specially poor people