Siblings are an integral part of our lives, especially as children. The relationship between siblings is one that has not been studied a great deal, though there is a fair amount of research on how birth order effects the social and psychological development of individuals. This photographic essay explores just one family, and the relationship that the siblings within held throughout their early lives. Recognizing that sibling relationships have changed greatly throughout time, this is an example of just one sibling relationship in an American home being raised in a small family in the 1980s and ’90s.
There are many sociological aspects that have influenced the way my brother and I interact: the time period in which we were raised, the size of the family, the parenting styles our parents have chosen, and the birth order are just a few of the influences on my family.
There are many different views as to how to raise children, and what the “proper” parenting style really is. Most Americans today feel that children are innocent and precious and that their rearing should be the primary responsibility of the parents and should be centered around the child’s needs. American children are seen as dependent and helpless, in constant need of parental assistance early in life.
My parents held this view, and my brother, and I were given individual attention primarily from our parents. Our parents were authoritative, while still remaining warm and caring to our needs. Though I was terrified to go to school on my first day, it was all bearable because I got my own personal guide to this scary new big place. He was very thoughtful-carrying my clipboard at the bus stop, sitting next to me on the bus, walking me to class the first day (and nearly every day after for the first few months), and making sure I got on the bus ok after school as well.
While I know he considered me a nuisance a fair amount of the time, he was always there for me when I needed him. However, school was a big place where the two of us began to have twinges of resentment toward one another. I always felt like he got more attention because he was smarter. It seemed to me that he knew everything, while I was only a mediocre student and even took reading classes because I wasn’t a proficient enough reader after my first year in school. School was just another social event for me, not something I ever took seriously, and I felt that reflected poorly on me since my brother was the star student.
Throughout elementary, middle and high school I always felt like I had to live up to his precedent from awards he had won, and subject she excelled in. Most of the teachers I had he had also had, and they often expected me to be like him-not an easy task. Surprisingly, talking to him in later years, I discovered that he saw it very differently. He felt like his accomplishments weren’t as important as they once were after I was in school as well. To him, because I was young and cute, I got all the positive attention.
We had very stereotypical ideas of who got the most attention: the other sibling.
By: Ammara Siddique
Tags: article, opinion, SIBLINGS, STRENGTH OF ONES LIFE
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