How to challenge your inner critic?

Improvement of one’s own personality is not an easy task rather it is nerve racking. It takes a lot of hard work particularly if you are an egoistic person. It often becomes an uncomfortable and painful process. Being your inner critic is the one thing that helps to achieve a better self.

Was I right or wrong? It is not a simple question. A person who wants to improve his self or who ha straits of self-criticism, only asks this question.

A person who is sarcastic by nature, often seems as dismissive or disrespectful, especially to the new acquaintances. Their attitude can cause unintended hurt. That, in itself, is a flaw and something that needs to be changed. If one’s personality towards others carries some bite, then it is ten times worse when focused inward. It is usually observed that after facing failures, many people criticize their self and get consumed by their past mistakes. They spend their time blaming their self instead of thinking about how to do better.

Time and distance are things that allow a person to think and reason. It’s easier to assess a situation after a week, rather than a moment later. This clarity often guides to the understanding that one has, in fact, done some wrong which needs to be assessed. It is common observation that the process of developing new habits is particularly met by some failures. Every time you skip the gym, overeat, or procrastinate on writing, you are falling through on your expectations. Such situations or errors are often followed by self-thrashing to the point that people often tend to silence the inner-critic instead of aiming towards personal growth. It is quite obvious that it’s an unhealthy mindset. Behind every step you take, there should be a positive basis for change; a fundamental belief rooted in a desire to become a better person. When that’s distorted by fear of criticism, you lose the best reason to achieve your goals.

One of the critical elements, conflict monitoring, was influenced mainly by self-acceptance. Not only it is essential to identify potential mistakes, but your response to failure can determine success with individual goals. After many experiments psychologist, Michael Inzlicht explored the importance of acceptance. Past research shows that ex-smokers who forgave an occasional slip-up didn’t return to chronic smoking. The same was true for dieters who accidentally overate. When they responded with acceptance, they were less likely to indulge compared to those who self-criticized.

Supporting every opportunity to better oneself is a growth mindset. You must believe that you can change before you can ever hope to do so. Sadly, your inner critic couldn’t disagree more. It wants you to stay safe, but it does so in the worst way; through personal attacks and belittlement. If you can be convinced never to try, then there is no possibility of failure. A life without failure means you can never be made fun of or disappointed. It would be bliss if that same critic didn’t constantly tell you that you weren’t doing enough to succeed. That’s why a growth mindset goes hand-in-hand with self-compassion. When we’re adjusted to and comfortable with, our mistakes we gain the ability to confront them. Now, there is no reason to gloss over short-term failure to avoid criticism. With self-compassion, you can have an internal, constructive dialogue that supports your development. More importantly, in the face of each mistake, you have a mindset that allows you to come back stronger and better. Your failures are no longer sources of disappointment but cause for growth.

 

by: Abeer Arshad 

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