Control Your Anger, Before It Controls You

There a reason human beings are called as social animals; they cannot survive without each other and this is why they build relationships to stay connected and as a result form a healthy society. Relations are the most important need of humans for their emotional wellbeing, but it is not always easy to maintain a healthy relation without going into a fight. Many people tend to destroy their social and emotional bonding due to unbalanced emotions; anger is one such emotion many of us deal with on a regular basis.

Anger is one of the most unpleasant emotions that we can experience. When we express our anger we feel bad and we feel even worse about ourselves once we have calmed down. It is not a healthy way to live life being constantly in angry. Some people are habitual of trying to hide their primary emotion through showing anger, but this distraction is temporary. This conscious or unconscious transformation of emotions cannot resolve problems but generates new problems. Anger is a puffer-fish phenomenon, which makes people think that they are more powerful but they do not realize that they are not expressing their primary emotion. Anger can make tense situations worse.

Severe anger issues lead to unrepairable loss on a personal level, especially when it is expressed with family, friends and colleagues. This unpleasant emotion can affect people around you; people distance themselves from a person that is always angry because of the negative energy. Unmanaged anger can lead to arguments, abuse, violence and even usage of drugs. The basic outcome of uncontrolled anger is humiliation for both the individuals involved. Firstly, the victim of anger feels humiliated because this unwanted verbal abuse may hurt their self-respect and decreases their confidence and morale. On the other hand, the person who expresses themselves aggressively, will definitely feel guilt and shame for the aggressive behavior.

A healthy relationship can turn into a disaster when a person is having anger issues.
Your closest friends will avoid your company because of your angry mood. As a result, you will lose your support network and will be unable to get sound advice on critical issues of life. Friends are the best self of you, you need them in every phase of life, but toxic outburst can ruin this pure relationship and cause distance between friends.

One can manage anger by continuously working on self-development. It is better to avoid situations that can build anger in you. Take dep breaths when something annoys you. You can also go for long term strategies to overcome anger, such as taking a break from your hectic routine, physical exercise, being respectful and specific about issues, trying to understand other’s point of view, practicing good listening skills and expressing yourself without becoming defensive. If your anger goes beyond the limits, seeking professional help is the only solution. The best advice is not to take things personally and let gop of things that annoy you.

 

by:  Abeer Arshad 

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