You making a mistake does not mean that you have failed, it means that you are very much alive and in the process of trying. What you need to understand is that life is an exam, and if you copy other people’s answers, you will fail. Why ? Because everybody may be taking the exam at the same time but everybody has a different set of questions.
The biggest reason for failure is that people listen to other people’s opinions and solutions of their own problem. If the problem is yours, or the goal is yours, the solutions should be yours and the road map has to be yours as well. Others can not live your life and by the same token, others can not solve your problems either. Better yet, bluntly put, others do not care about your problems. Somebody giving you half an hour to listen to you while he has nothing better to do does not mean that he cares about your problems. It also does not mean that he has the knowledge, expertise, sincerity or the will to give you the best solution.
Specially in Pakistan based on our cultural traditions, the first person we find who is older than us or seems even slightly successful, not knowledgeable but successful, we run to him for advice. And the criteria to even judge his success is based on such thin ice as his title, his car, his office size or a few followers of him on FB these days. We think he is God sent Messiah for our problems. We have not judged his sincerity, the number one attribute to judge before discussing your problems with anybody. Number two, does he have time for you on a regular basis to mentor you, because mentoring is never a one-off thing. It requires more dedication and sincerity from the mentor than the mentee.
Very few people fail because of their capability. Most fail because of their personality. And the thing that tops in ones’ personality which is a must is, positivity and optimism. With all your capability and knowledge and experience, if you are the kind that gets nervous easily, if you are the person who becomes pessimistic after a few failures, if you are a person who lacks confidence and wants guarantees of the future, then you need to fix all these issues first before you work on anything substantive. And the only way to work on these things and get better is to start, make an effort, fail, fail, fail, but never give up.
If you are not prepared to be wrong and accept it, then you will always be looking for excuses to blame your wrongs on anything or anybody else but yourself. I am wrong 6 out of ten times in my life, but the other 4 keep me moving towards my visualized success and that 40% success rate overshadows the 60% failure rate because its not a percentage game, its a game of results. Even if i dont get results 6 out of 10 times, i get them 4 out of 10 times because i was looking for a final result and not an interim count of how many times i was wrong. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
P.S. And this article is being written in the car while i am returning from a meeting, with a 3 hour drive and no results. I FAILED. Proudly. But i will be there again tomorrow to convince them.
by: Mir Mohammad Ali Khan